Welcome to the E--n House

July 15, 2018

"If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia."

-Kurt Vonnegut


Outside the E--n House it's always winter. We prefer you leave your coat at the door, so you'll have to keep the windows closed. Expect bouts of loneliness, but resist the temptation to open all the windows and invite in visitors. We've warned previous guests not to do this, but the urge must be powerful: many end up opening the windows. Please trust that we want what's best for you; do NOT open the windows. We could tell you about all the instances in which we've returned to the mansion only to find a pale, shriveled up guest lying helpless in bed, shivering, coughing up blood, 40 windows wide open, but we'd bore you with repetition. Should you open the windows? No. You should not open the windows. [If you do open the windows please read the bracketed section below for instructions on how to proceed]. 


It's deeply important that you enjoy your stay at the E--n House. This is essential. Get comfortable, move about, take off all your clothes, yell, scream, dance, somersault, bark, growl, stretch, burp, fart. We've padded all sharp corners and removed any dangerous objects, so do not hold back. Do NOT hold back. During your stay, strive to behave in accord with the promptings which come from your true self. Sleep as late as you like. You have no schedule. Please do not make a schedule. Time in the E--n House, like in a casino, should be forgotten. You'll notice that the windows are mirrored, and that when you try to look outside you are really looking back inside the E--n House.


Should you at any time feel unsafe, threatened, or vulnerable when cutting loose, know that it's not wrong to feel this way. Of course you feel this way. The idea is to not feel this way, but you can only rid yourself of the feeling if you accept that it's okay to have the feeling. The E--n House is paradoxical in nature. Though you arrive here with goals, you should not try to achieve them.


You'll want to share your experience in the E--n House with others. That's encouraged. Your experience is magnified and enriched when shared with other people. It will help you build bridges and connect, and that's beautiful. So: share, share, share. But do not worry about sharing until you leave. Don't let the idea of sharing pollute your time here.


That's all for now. I wish you the best. This is your time and nothing we've said here can change that fact.


[So you opened the windows. Now what? Well, don't be ashamed. If the windows weren't meant to be opened, why would they be there in the first place? Why wouldn't they be glued shut? You're brave to break the rules. But we warned you that you'd get sick and you will get sick- we meant that. It won't be fun. Boy, will it not be fun...

Anyway, close the windows immediately. All of them. Are they closed? All of them? Okay, now do your best to forget about the feeling you had when the windows were open. Experience what it's like now, with the windows closed. Now think about the very first thing you did in the E--n House-- something you did before the windows were open. Experience that thing again in your mind. Maybe even repeat the action. Now think about the truest thing you know. Marinate in it. This will help. Good luck to you and, when you do feel better, play harder than ever].






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